Should Your Significant Other See Your Credit Report Before Marriage?
A young man in Miami recently had a Random thought and asked these questions on Facebook. “How upset would you be, if your significant other wanted to see your credit report before marriage? With finances being one of the primary reasons for divorce, isn’t this logical? Why or why not? Offended or not?
These are some of the responses:
- Katie – I wouldn’t be offended because it is logical; it lets you know what you’re working with as to whether or not you’re going to have to clean it up or not before making major purchases together as a married couple.
- Fred – She can look at it….she needs to know what she gonna be helping pay.
- Mike – Credit is overrated, it shouldn’t matter. I know a lot of people that deal strictly cash (no dope boy). Hard working people really don’t care about credit.
- Pam – Not upset at all. Your finances are gonna be in both your names. you gotta want to know what you will be dealing with
- Tammie – I don’t think it should affect the relationship, however, I don’t see a problem with it
- Al – I would be in total agreement and would want to see hers as well.
I found the questions and comments interesting, because about twice a year I am asked to speak on that subject. My opinion is different than the general audience due to having consulted with thousands of families over my career.
Communication or the lack of communication about money is the problem, not finances. Wealthy people with money fight and divorce over what some would say (The Money). Poor people fight over money as well it seems. The real fact is, not having the same views and experiences with money creates a dysfunction.
Consider the fact that being poor is a state of mind, being broke is temporary. Your credit report reveals a past position of being broke, it should not be used to measure your position with your financial future. Most people have no real knowledge about money or credit and find themselves wanting to evaluate others. Therefore having someone blind looking over a credit report may not reap the best review of the situation.
If your partner is asking to see your credit report really means nothing. This is a time you should simply have a conversation to determine the financial consciousness of your partner. You and your partner should want to know if the other is wealth conscious (working to build assets and accumulate wealth) or poverty conscious (working to have nice cars, fine clothing and take nice vacations). This is what really matters…
In short, the bigger picture is the family vision. How does this person’s goal fit into the vision for the future of our family? Does this person have a consciousness of wealth or poverty? What is my vision of the family’s future? What is my consciousness? These are better questions to be asked and should be considered.
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