Should Your Significant Other See Your Credit Report Before Marriage?

Angry couple

Should Your Significant Other See Your Credit Report Before Marriage?

A young man in Miami recently had a Random thought and asked these questions on Facebook. “How upset would you be, if your significant other wanted to see your credit report before marriage? With finances being one of the primary reasons for divorce, isn’t this logical? Why or why not? Offended or not?

These are some of the responses:

  • Katie – I wouldn’t be offended because it is logical; it lets you know what you’re working with as to whether or not you’re going to have to clean it up or not before making major purchases together as a married couple.
  • Fred – She can look at it….she needs to know what she gonna be helping pay.
  • Mike – Credit is overrated, it shouldn’t matter. I know a lot of people that deal strictly cash (no dope boy). Hard working people really don’t care about credit.
  • Pam – Not upset at all. Your finances are gonna be in both your names. you gotta want to know what you will be dealing with
  • Tammie – I don’t think it should affect the relationship, however, I don’t see a problem with it
  • Al – I would be in total agreement and would want to see hers as well.


I found the questions and comments interesting, because about twice a year I am asked to speak on that subject. My opinion is different than the general audience due to having consulted with thousands of families over my career.

Communication or the lack of communication about money is the problem, not finances. Wealthy people with money fight and divorce over what some would say (The Money). Poor people fight over money as well it seems. The real fact is, not having the same views and experiences with money creates a dysfunction.

Consider the fact that being poor is a state of mind, being broke is temporary. Your credit report reveals a past position of being broke, it should not be used to measure your position with your financial future. Most people have no real knowledge about money or credit and find themselves wanting to evaluate others. Therefore having someone blind looking over a credit report may not reap the best review of the situation.

If your partner is asking to see your credit report really means nothing. This is a time you should simply have a conversation to determine the financial consciousness of your partner. You and your partner should want to know if the other is wealth conscious (working to build assets and accumulate wealth) or poverty conscious (working to have nice cars, fine clothing and take nice vacations).  This is what really matters…

In short, the bigger picture is the family vision. How does this person’s goal fit into the vision for the future of our family? Does this person have a consciousness of wealth or poverty? What is my vision of the family’s future? What is my consciousness? These are better questions to be asked and should be considered.

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Your Money, Second Opinion


Have you ever received advice from friends and family on financial decisions you had to make? Have you felt so confident about what you are doing with your money that you see mistakes as just something that goes wrong from time to time?

Your financial security is as important as anything else you have in your life. Most people who experience car trouble and receive an extremely high estimate will look for a second or sometimes a third or fourth opinion. They have a desire to reduce or save as much as possible. I can go on and on about issues and situations that will create the need for a second opinion.

Your, your financial decisions should always be made with an expert second opinion. It is important to your ability to have a secure and strong financial life. The alternative is that you continue to hear things that sound like the best option. You may know someone who has experienced some rough times but they seem to be doing well now. I recommend you get a different perspective on all of your financial decisions.

There may be good arguments for several different options; getting a second opinion can be a good way to hear some of them. A second opinion serves as a general quality check – to make sure you’re really getting the most up to date, most effective advice for your household. Before you just go with the first option read the story below.

A Second Opinion Story: My name is Harry, I go to the doctor and tell him about severe headaches I am having. The doctor said, “Harry, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.” “You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one huge headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.” I was shocked and depressed. I wondered if I had anything to live for. I had no choice but to go under the knife.

When I left the hospital, I was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but I felt like I was missing an important part of myself. As I walked down the street, I realized that I felt like a different person. I could make a new beginning and live a new life. I saw a men’s clothing store and thought, “That’s what I need…

A new suit…” I entered the spot and told the salesman,

“I’d like a new suit.” The elderly tailor eyed me briefly and said,

“Let’s see…size 44 long.” I laughed, “That’s right, how did you know?”

“Been in the business 60 years!” the tailor said.

I tried on the suit, it fit perfectly. As I admired myself in the mirror, the salesman asked, “how about a new shirt?”

I thought for a moment and then said, “Sure.” The tailor eyed me and said,

“Let’s see, 34 sleeves and 16 ½ neck.” I was surprised, ”That’s right, how did you know?”

“Been in the business 60 years!”

I tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

I walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, “How about some new underwear?” I thought for a moment and then said, “Sure.” The tailor said, “Let’s see…size 36.” I laughed, “Ah ha! I got you! I’ve worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.”

The tailor shook his head, “You can’t wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one huge headache.”

New Suit – $500

New Shirt – $52

New Underwear – $12

Second Opinion – PRICELESS

Before you make any major financial decisions be sure to get a second opinion from a professional like myself. Having the right information is priceless…

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Manipulating Women

I thought long and hard before writing this blog, I am very concerned that I may not articulate the point that I desired to make. I looked up the definition of manipulate in order to truly be clear about the meaning. I found three primary meanings that I believe help me make my case. They are:

  1. To manage or influence skillfully, especially in an unfair manner: to manipulate the monthly process of paying bills.
  2. To handle, manage, or use, especially with skill, in some process of treatment or performance: to manipulate a major expenses.
  3. To adapt or change (accounts, figures, etc.) to suit one’s purpose or advantage.

As a financial coach and educator, I have recently sat down with five different households to discuss their financial situation and to put them on a path to financial freedom. I am going to share with you stories about a few of the women that I met.

There is Tammy Z. Tammy is a hard working wife/mother of two middle school age children. Her husband has completely surrendered the management of the household finances to her. Even with his income, they have struggled to make ends meet. However, Tammy is two months behind on the mortgage and each month she finds a way to keep the bills paid and food on the table.

When I reviewed their expense versus the income, there is a negative of over $700.00, yet she is able to “adapt or change (accounts, figures, etc.) to suit one’s purpose or advantage”.

Brenda works three jobs. She is current on her mortgage and behind with her credit cards payment. Being a mother of four, two pre-teens and two adolescents that requires childcare (babysitting) weekly, her struggle is heavy. Yet, she find a way to meet the monthly obligations not able to save or plan a vacation. She makes it work for her family.

There is Pamela, a single mother working and going to school. She has two children and receives child support to supplement her income. Her combined income shows that she CAN NOT meet her monthly expenses on paper. However, month after month the bills are getting paid.

Women are earning more money than ever before, making more financially-related decisions than ever before. Many times with a husband or partner at home women sometimes do not feel adequate or empowered to successfully navigate their own financial life, but have become more financially independent than their mothers despite the financial challenges of today.  Even so, many women are especially vulnerable to poverty and living a financially disadvantaged life.

Women take on the day to day challenge of working their jobs and managing everything regarding the home and the family. If it’s breakfast or dinner, school or after school activities, or homework, they have to manage and influence all. They simply can not allow their financial disadvantages to lead them into depression or disease, over eating, and stress. They are sometimes overworked and bummed out. They can not quit, the foundation of their lives are on their shoulders.

Whatever the reasons are that women are becoming savvier about money and to meet their monthly obligation, they must increase their self-confidence in their ability to create a more secure financial future.  They must learn more effective ways to pass on better financial habits and knowledge to their children, regardless of their background, abilities or feelings.

When I asked them how they are doing this month after month, they all claim that they just find a way to get things done. These women, like most are finding a way to pay bills by any means necessary.

Women manipulate what they must to survive. The real problem with this is that it is all temporary. Survival must become greater than coping month to month. Women must look closely at how they are able to manipulate their financial situation and learn from it.

Women must learn to manage money more skillfully. Women must decide to manage for more than the short-term. Instead of short term solutions, they must incorporate long term saving and investing, debt elimination and wealth building concepts as a part of their monthly manipulation.

When women begin to handle, manage, or use, especially with skills to create a manageable budget, live within their means, controlling debt and plan for their future. Then they will truly become Master Manipulators of Money.

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Our children today have access to more money than they can handle. Parents are working harder year after year to ensure that their children have the latest gear and gadgets.

Regardless of the cost; whether it is tennis shoes, cell phones, clothing, or the new video game, children are getting what they want.

These unintentional lessons to children give them all the reasons to pursue their wants and not understand their needs.

I proclaim that parents have not consistently taught their children about money intentionally. Unfortunately, parents have made decisions without considering the high cost to themselves on items given to children, and parents do not understand the impact on their children. I believe that if we can reach young children at the preschool level, we can direct them in every area of their financial life.

If parents share household and career financial information with their children now, it will help to develop financial knowledge and skills to raising financially fit children. These skills may change over the course of their lives, but the level of understanding each skill becomes more sophisticated as the child grows.

Guiding young children in simple choices now will give them the experience and confidence to make their own decisions as they grow to be teens. Making decisions teaches children responsibility and enhances their ability to function successfully in their teen and adult years.

Confidence in decision-making enhances children’s control over their lives and gives them power. Very young children are able to analyze and choose between two equally positive alternatives without major negative consequences.

As children grow older, they become better qualified to make sound financial decisions. This is a life-long benefit when you teach children good money habits.

If you are a parent and need to learn better money management and habits, read my latest book “Wealth Increasing Now”.

Also, as a parent, what lessons are you teaching your child/children that you want to share?


Community Breakdown


How strong is a community when your financial insitutions decides to leaves the community?

In this picture you will see that a national bank has closed its doors and in its place opens a Check Cash It. The community organization and NPU’s are supposed to be working with banks and financial institutions articulating the needs of the community. That is not happening in this case. Look around you, what type of financial institutions are in your community?

The Community Reinvestment Act of 1977 (CRA) suppose to provides the framework for financial institutions, state and local governments, and community organizations to jointly promote banking services to all members of a community. What it should be doing is:

  • Prohibiting redlining (denying or increasing the cost of banking to residents of racially defined neighborhoods), and
  • Encouraging efforts to meet the credit needs of all community members, including residents of low- and moderate-income neighborhoods.

Credit needs… Really? How can a Check Cash It meet the credit needs of a community?

Recently, The Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (OCC) released a list of Community Reinvestment Act (CRA) evaluations that became public during the period of July 1, 2014 through July 31, 2014. These evaluations are to look at financial institutions performance in the community.

The list contains only national banks, federal savings associations, and insured federal branches of foreign banks that have received ratings. The possible ratings are outstanding, satisfactory, needs to improve, and substantial noncompliance. Of the 44 evaluations made public this month, seven are rated outstanding, 37 are rated satisfactory, none are rated needs to improve, and none are rated substantial noncompliance.

A list of those evaluations is available at Click on the institution’s charter number to view a pdf of the evaluation. It is a crying shame to review that report.